On a ridge of cracked ashen ruins under a green-purple sky, four mutant tribes gather with homemade banners: a rotting-skull banner (Dusthollow Rot), a cracked-sun banner (Broken Glare), a jagged-shrapnel banner held by glowing, heavily mutated warriors (Radburn Shrapnel), and, far off on the northern horizon, a tiny furious banner reading “MAXIMUM WRATH.” A tiny kobold paladin (Haru, enlarged veiny skull) stands on a rock giving a rousing speech with his rapier raised. A large, gentle firbolg druid (Toven) with a small grey rat (12) on his shoulder hands out crates of mining dynamite. The crowds cheer with fists in the air. Heroic rally energy.
On the snowy black peak of a volcanic mountain, an enormous mind flayer space laser points at the sky, built from purple crystals and pulsing flesh-cables. The mind flayer Qardsavu’ox (dagger-tentacles, lab apron) sits in the padded control chair with a wire-covered neural headset strapped to his skull, eyes crossed, smoke puffing out of his ears, with a big “15” floating above him and a sputtering “ERROR” sign on the console. A dragonborn with backward bird-legs (Kiet) and an enormous scarred warrior (Gemnar, glaive, red-stone gauntlet) peer at the weapon in awe. In the sky above, a chain of glowing crystal mirrors orbits the planet.
Inside the laser’s control room, the mind flayer Qardsavu’ox (dagger-tentacles, lab apron) slurps a glowing pink jelly-brain through his face tentacles like a milkshake. Swirling around his head are cartoon memory bubbles: other pompous mind flayers pointing and laughing at him, turning their backs, and closing little doors labeled “MINDLINK.” His face is turning red, steam is shooting out of his head, and his vacant eyes have become furious. A small grey rat (12) on the shoulder of a large, gentle firbolg druid (Toven) watches with a deadpan “uh oh” expression. Comic, not gross.
At a crumbling stone shrine in the Broken Glare tribe’s territory, a tiny kobold paladin (Haru, enlarged veiny skull) kneels as a giant golden “NAT 20!” d20 blazes in the sky above. The shrine glows, and the vast, majestic Platinum Dragon Bahamut, with gleaming silver-white scales and kind wise eyes, leans down out of a beam of heavenly light. Haru holds up two cracked, dark, corrupted dragon eggs, and as Bahamut breathes a gentle stream of starlight over them, they transform into two shining silver dragon eggs. Members of the Broken Glare tribe watch from behind pillars, jaws dropped. Warm silver and gold against the purple wasteland.
Alone on a flying carpet high above the wasteland, a dragonborn with backward bird-legs (Kiet) slices the air with a jagged metal knife, tearing a fist-sized glowing rip in reality that crackles with strange colors from another world. He looks back at the viewer, startled, his eyes now solid jet black with two glowing pupils each, little “?” marks spinning around his head. A small puff of green radiation leaks out of the hole. Far below, the wasteland stretches out, empty. Sneaky, mischievous, “nobody saw that” energy.
An enormous scarred warrior (Gemnar, glaive, red-stone gauntlet) stands on a boulder roaring a battle cry, with a huge comic speech bubble reading “LET’S #@%!ING GO!” Behind him, three huge wild-haired berserker giants with clubs and war paint pump their fists and roar back. Off to the side, a robed tribal seer with glowing eyes points at Gemnar, with a ghostly playing card labeled “WILD CARD” floating above Gemnar’s head. In the background, mutated Radburn Shrapnel tribesmen wave hopefully from glowing radiation chambers, while a large, gentle firbolg druid (Toven) politely shakes his head “no thanks.” Loud, triumphant, ridiculous.
A long banquet table in the middle of the ashen wasteland, overflowing with glowing, impossibly perfect fruits, roots, and vegetables summoned from a lush green otherworld. A large, gentle firbolg druid (Toven) stands at the head of the table, arms raised, with a small grey rat (12) on his shoulder nibbling a giant golden berry. Seated around the table: a tiny kobold paladin (Haru, enlarged veiny skull) radiating a warm protective aura, a dragonborn with backward bird-legs and jet-black double-pupil eyes (Kiet) stuffing his face, an enormous scarred warrior (Gemnar, glaive, red-stone gauntlet) holding a carrot like a trophy, and the mind flayer Qardsavu’ox (dagger-tentacles) awkwardly poking a turnip. Mutant tribespeople crowd around in awe. Little glowing “+13 HP” hearts float above each diner.
At the lip of a vast glowing pit, a tiny kobold paladin (Haru, enlarged veiny skull) cups his claws around his mouth and calls down flatteringly, with a sparkly speech bubble full of hearts and crowns. Rising out of the pit, flattered and smug, comes the High Master: a 40-foot dragon whose head is fused with a pulsing pink elder brain, tentacles writhing like a crown, violet psychic arcs crackling. Behind it, pompous mind flayers float up in a row. A big “29!” glows above Haru. Hidden behind boulders in the foreground, an enormous scarred warrior (Gemnar, glaive, red-stone gauntlet) and three berserker giants crouch with fingers to their lips, “shhh.” High above, a flying carpet carries a dragonborn (Kiet, bird-legs, black double-pupil eyes) and a large, gentle firbolg druid (Toven) holding bundles of dynamite.
A colossal beam of blazing white-gold light slams down from the sky, bounced off a glowing crystal mirror in orbit, onto the battlefield. Far away on a mountain peak, the mind flayer Qardsavu’ox (dagger-tentacles) sits in the laser chair, screaming with rage and wearing the neural headset. The beam hits the High Master (dragon with a fused elder-brain head) dead on with a giant “116!” and also blasts the whole battlefield. The earth cracks open, a row of mind flayers is blown away like bowling pins, and a tiny kobold paladin (Haru, enlarged veiny skull) is knocked flat with cartoon X-eyes. Behind safe boulders well outside the blast, an enormous scarred warrior (Gemnar, glaive, red-stone gauntlet) and three berserker giants peek out, completely unharmed, with sunglasses on. Explosive, overexposed, epic.
Chaotic battle finale. A dragonborn with backward bird-legs and jet-black double-pupil eyes (Kiet), who has sprouted big scaly wings, swings his weapon in a blur of seven slashes, six labeled “MISS!”, and the seventh lands with a huge “TRIP!” The High Master (dragon with a pulsing elder-brain head and tentacle crown) crashes face-first into the cracked ground with a big “WHUMP!”, dragging a frayed flying carpet in its claws, and opens its jaws to spray green tadpole brine at Kiet. Above, a large Giant Vulture (Toven wild shaped) swoops down. A tiny kobold paladin (Haru, enlarged veiny skull) charges in riding Stomper, a glowing armored elephant, with his rapier raised. In the background, more mind flayers rise from the pits, and an enormous scarred warrior (Gemnar, glaive, red-stone gauntlet) leaps over a boulder, mid-charge, frozen like a “TO BE CONTINUED…” cliffhanger. Saturday morning cartoon finale energy.